The end of last month marked one whole year of Lee and myself living together, its flown by so quickly and I can’t quite believe we’ve been in our own little flat for one whole year. Moving in with your partner is a huge step in a relationship and can be quite scary. We were lucky as we did have a couple of little trial runs here and there when Lee temporarily lived with me in my last student house, and again just before we moved in together, where he lived with me at my mums for 6 months.
Beforehand you often have this idea of what living with your partner might be like, but sometimes you’re not always aware of the reality of it. It’s not always romance and roses and being naked all the time, sometimes it’s sitting on the loo and realising you’ve run out of toilet roll midway through a shit, and having to sit and shout hoping your other half to come and rescue you with some Andrex. So I thought I’d chat today about all the things I’ve learnt so far about living with a boy, and I mean all of it.
YOU’RE GOING TO DISAGREE ON THINGS
There are going to be times when you disagree on things and that’s just how it is. I must say Lee and myself are quite lucky as in the three and a bit years we have been together we have never had an argument. Yep, honestly. Living together, however, we have both discovered we can be both quite stubborn and sometimes a little bit huffy, although its rarely at each other. My biggest bit of advice is to never go to bed in a huff. We did this once (and over the stupidest thing might I add) and ended up not speaking for a full 12 hours – although the majority of this we were asleep. Afterwards, we did laugh about it as a hug was all we needed to fix it.
BODILY FUNCTIONS CAN’T BE AVOIDED
I’m probably not alone in this, but I was always terrible at holding in bodily functions at the start of relationships. I often used to go home after a weekend at Lee’s old student flat with an aching stomach from spending 2-3 days holding in all farts and the such like. I can still remember the first time I farted in front of him and I was so embarrassed that it had slipped out by accident. This type of behaviour just is not possible when you live in the same house as your other half. You just have to accept the fact that there’s going to be a time when you’re in the bath shaving your legs, or your bits or even your toes and your other half is going to walk in. You’re both human beings, sometimes you smell, sometimes you poo, and there’s nothing to be ashamed about.
ONE OF YOU IS THE MESSY ONE
We quickly discovered when we moved in I’m the “messy” one – that is getting quotation marks because in reality, I’m not really messy, I’m just not as tidy as Lee is. This is the kind of situation you need to work on and both parties need to agree to compromise. I need to make the effort to not leave my nail varnish lying around, or remember to hang my coat up when I come home from work instead of popping it on the chair. Lee needs to make the effort to stop tidying my things up and moving them around so I can’t find them and end up stomping around the flat hunting for my belongings. You both need to accept everybody has different habits and ways they do things, and you’ve just got to find a way to accept that and make it work as best you can.
YOU NEED TO GIVE EACH OTHER SPACE
When you first start dating somebody new, you want to see each other all the time, you miss each other when you’re apart and you basically can’t keep your hands off each other. But when you live together sometimes it’s the opposite when that person shares the same living space as you. Of course, you miss them when they’re not around, but sometimes you crave a little time on your own and that’s totally normal! I always find locking myself in the bathroom, with a bubble bar, a bath bomb and a podcast is my favourite way to get some alone time, or even sometimes just going to sit in a different room with a book. Space is healthy in a relationship as people like to have time alone sometimes, and that doesn’t mean they love you any less, it just means that we are all human and need some time to ourselves.
Living together can be hard and does require some compromise, but at the end of the day, there is nothing better than coming home every night and getting to spend it with your best friend in your own little home that you’ve built together.