Online personality tests, Buzzfeed quizzes or even Myers Briggs, they all tell me one thing. I’m an introvert, even Pottermore sorted me into Hufflepuff. FYI I bloody love being a Hufflepuff, I even have some Hufflepuff knickers that are hideously yellow and make me laugh whenever I put them on – maybe that’s a little TMI, sorry.
But basically, I am an introvert! But what exactly does that mean? Urban Dictionary defines it as:
‘Opposite of extrovert. A person who is energised by spending time alone. Often found in their homes, libraries, quiet parks that not many people know about, or other secluded places, introverts like to think and be alone.
Contrary to popular belief, not all introverts are shy. Some may have great social lives and love talking to their friends but just need some time to be alone to “recharge” afterwards. The word “Introvert” has negative connotations that need to be destroyed. Introverts are simply misunderstood because the majority of the population consists of extroverts.’
In some ways this is me. Yes, I am shy – at times! When I’m with a group of people I don’t know very well I stay quiet, though I always worry this comes across as stuck up. But once I get to know people I never shut up – my friends can vouch for this I’m sure.
Yes, I enjoy things like reading books and sitting in parks and typically cliched introvert activities. But I also love going to gigs and screaming my head off, I love going out and spending my evening dancing away with a rum and coke in my hand and I love being surrounded by people.
This isn’t really something I’ve spoken very openly, but I spend a large proportion of my time alone, and I hate it. Which is a un-introverted quality as many thrive on spending time on their own to recharge. But I’m the total opposite.
I’m an introvert who gets really lonely.
This is something I’ve noticed a lot more as I’ve gotten older and I really hate it. But throughout High School, College and University I was surrounded by friends every day, and I end up taking it for granted. But now I’m out of education I’ve realised how much I miss having friendships like that. When you grow up life gets in the way a little bit – I’ve friends now who live in London, friends who have husbands and children and work full time. So arranging days together are few and far between.
As somebody who only works part-time, I end up spending a huge amount of my time in my flat alone – and it can make me really miserable. I thoroughly enjoy going to work, purely for the fact I’m surrounded by people and get to chat to customers and volunteers all day long. I work with some lovely people, but everybody is at least 10-15 years older than me – if not more, so I don’t have a work friendship group like a lot of others might do.
I’m always on a mission to form friendships others ways – but as an introvert its really quite hard, its pretty much a vicious circle for me. I’m not the type of person who finds it easy to go “hey person I don’t know very well, fancy going for a coffee this afternoon” I’m not good at putting myself out there and I hate to feel like I’m annoying people by always being the one texting them, as I always worry they think I’m being a pest. But if I’m not interacting with people face-to-face I get really quite sad. I’ve had days where at 12pm I’m feeling great for having a productive blitz of the flat, but then by 2pm, I’m sat on my sofa crying because I’ve not seen anybody.
Recently I’ve been trying harder to push myself and try and make some more friends and open my circle a little bit by meeting new groups of people. A few months ago I met up with Fiona and we had discussions over a cheeky burrito about setting up a Newcastle chapter of The Geek Girl Brunch as a way to get together with fellow nerdy types from the North East. We are still working on getting this set up properly but I’m super excited to meet some new ladies with similar interests.
I’ve also recently been trying to spend a little more time with some local bloggers which I’ve been really enjoying. I spent a day a few weeks ago with Amy, Helen and Chloe, where we spent the day stuffing our faces with food, swapping beauty products and chatting about all things blogging. I thoroughly enjoyed this as its nice to spend time with other ladies who have the same love for blogging as I do. I even went shooting outfit pictures with Helen and Chloe last week. Not only did this help my need for social interaction, but it also helped boost my confidence a little as I didn’t hate how I looked in the photographs. I am on shooting some more outfits again soon, so keep your eyes peeled!
Does anybody else suffer from loneliness from time to time? I’m always happy to chat with new people and I’m always on Twitter for a quick chat. Plus my inbox is always open if you ever want to talk privately.