I’ve spoken previously about friendships, introversion and about how I sometimes struggle with finding the confidence to approach people and start friendships. The post in question I wrote back in 2016 when I was really struggling with not feeling like I belonged.
Fast forward two years and I’m in a much better much happier place. So what’s changed? I think overall I’ve just become happier in myself. I’ve struggled over the past few years with issues with, self-confidence and generally not feeling comfortable with my body. This can have a huge effect on lots of different things.
In the past, I’ve always felt like the odd one out in friendship groups and that I was always in the way. Helen wrote a post a few months ago about friendship and I could relate so much to what she said:
“It’s tough always thinking you’re the outsider. You’re the one in the group that people invite along because they feel like they have to. The one that’s just ‘there’ rather than part of something“
This is something I’ve struggled with for years, being part of friendship groups and feeling like the outsider. Nothing hurts more than seeing your friendship group hanging out and not inviting you. But I think as time has gone on I’ve learnt to not let this affect me as much.
I’ve learnt to accept I’m never going to have a huge friendship group like you see on tv. Growing up with tv shows like Friends it’s easy to feel like you need a large friendship group who see each other regularly and all hang out together.
Life isn’t that realistic, the chances that all your friends are all going to be best buddies and all hang out together is pretty unrealistic. I remember when I was younger my brother always used to have little groups of friends from different areas of his life. He had friends from high school, friends from college, friends from university. I’ve finally come to realise that this is hows its supposed to be, life isn’t a sitcom.
T-SHIRT: NEW LOOK | JACKET: ZAFUL* (SIMILAR)| JEANS: M&S | PINS: PUNKY PINS* | NECKLACE: JEWELLERY BOX* | EARRINGS: LORELAI | SHOES: MATALAN (SIMILAR)
So at the age of twenty-six, I feel like I’ve finally found my tribe – multiple tribes actually, and that’s okay. I have a small group of friends from high school, where we’ve grown up together, gone through the traumas of our teenage years. The bad haircuts, dream matte mousse, first kisses and first break-ups, and created lifelong friendships.
Through blogging, I’ve met an amazing bunch of ladies, who understand the need to photograph meals before eating them. Who aren’t afraid to lay down on the floor to help you get that perfect Instagram photo, and will happily rant with you about Instagram bots and fake followers till you’re blue in the face.
I’ve friends from University who will forever fill me with happy memories of drunken nights out, falling asleep in lectures and staying up until 4 am writing essays about artists who fire blue paint out of their arsehole. Friends who have since moved away to different cities living their own lives separate from my own, we may only get together once or twice a year. But when we do it’s like we’ve never been apart.
Friends I’ve met through online communities like, In Colourful Company, a group of wonderfully vibrant ladies spread all over the UK and beyond. Who share a love for colour and creativity, are always there for inspiration to live life colourfully.
The older you get the more you realise life really isn’t like a sitcom, you can’t always hang out with your friends all the time. You end up caring less about your friends not inviting you on trips to the cinema, or forgetting to tell you they’re in town for a few days. All that’s important is those gals (and guys) are there when you need them most.